


What If

by KellynKupcake



Series: RDR2 Tumblr Prompts [1]
Category: Red Dead Redemption (Video Games)
Genre: Cheating, Dirty Talk, Dry Humping, F/M, Grinding, John Marston is a bad husband, Reader is a bad friend, Smut, emotional cheating
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-01
Updated: 2019-04-01
Packaged: 2019-12-30 06:50:26
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,773
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18310385
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KellynKupcake/pseuds/KellynKupcake
Summary: Tumblr Prompt: What if John had feelings for the reader but the only way he knew how to express it was to be really rude until one day the reader confronts him on his shitty behaviour.TLDR: Reader wonders why John is such a dick to her and confronts him.





	What If

**Author's Note:**

> Abigail doesn't deserve the things I do to her.

You had lived a hard life before you joined the Van der Linde Gang. Mumma dying before you could walk and a Papi that tried to sell you for a bag of corn. You hadn’t ever had it good. At the age of 20 you still had little to no idea what ‘good’ was.

After you ran from home you never stayed in one place for too long. Always moving. Always afraid. Never sure where your next meal was coming from. Nothing ever constant.

So when Uncle had approached you at the saloon you worked in and offered you a better life you had been skeptical. A meal every day for a few household chores and the occasional heist. He warned you, you would probably have to do some stealing. Work some cons. You had laughed at that. You already lived that way for nothing in return.

It had been a few months now and to your surprise you found yourself happy. Excited even to wake up in the mornings and see what the day had to offer.

The only thing better than the hot meals was the friendship. The comradery that came from living and working so close with a group of people day in and day out.

You found you loved that the most. It was your new constant.

You had made fast friends with the other women. Swapping stories of how you lived before the gang and realizing just how similar they had had it growing up.

The person you hadn’t expected to bond with was Abigail. She was a married Mother. Her only jobs being cooking, washing and sewing. You thought you had nothing in common. But after a drunken night of swapping secrets you had realized just how similar you both were.

You had confided in her about your darkest days and some of the more questionable things you had done to earn yourself a meal. She had laughed herself silly and you had been mad, feeling judged until she had wrapped her arms around you and hugged you to her. Still chuckling as she explained that she didn’t exactly get with child by going to church.

You had felt bad for judging her as prim and proper without getting to know her and the two of you became incredibly close after that.

The only issue you had with spending so much time with her was her insufferable husband.

John Marston was never far away while the two of you talked. He sat close enough to listen in and offered unsolicited advice to your problems that made you want to grind your teeth down to the gums.

He was insulting, in a back handed way. Complimenting you and making your heart swell before metaphorically slapping the smile off your face.

Your dress was pretty, for someone your size. Your hair looked nice today, if you liked that colour.

He was a miserable bastard, always nearby, always listening. You hated it. At least you thought you did.

Until one day he helped you up after a fall and the electricity you felt coursing through you at his touch was enough to send you reeling back a few paces, falling again flat on your ass with a loud thunk as he gaped at you in surprise.

He had laughed way too hard, leaving you to help yourself up as he moved on his merry way. You came crashing back to reality as you watched his back retreating and growled in frustration. There was no way you could actually find him attractive.

But as the weeks wore on you had found yourself thinking about him more and more. The way his hair shone in the afternoon sunlight as he sat cross legged by the cliffside and whittled a piece of wood with scared hands.

The way the curve of his ass fit snuggly against his jeans as he bent to pick up heavy bags of flour. Sweat glistening on his forehead as he wiped it with the back of his hand.

The thought of his sweaty brow pressed against yours as he fucked you hard against the nearest flat surface had you flustered. Your cheeks heating as you worked on your sewing.

If only he wasn’t such an asshole.

Or married.

You realized suddenly, as Abigail picked your conversation back up from where you left off. You turned to her in surprise, having forgotten she was present and she eyed you suspiciously as she followed your eyeline from before.

Her lips pursed briefly as she caught sight of John. She composed herself quickly, continuing on your conversation as if there was never a pause. You were thankful for that. A lesser woman would have probed you about it.

A few more days passed after your near miss with Abigail before you had finally had enough of John’s attitude. You had been minding your business, chopping vegetables for the dinner stew when he had sauntered over with his empty coffee mug and made a snide remark about your technique.

You felt your hand grip the knife tightly before you slammed it down on the chopping board, making him jump.

“What the fuck!” You paused for emphasis. “Is your Goddamn problem with me?” You asked, voice raised as you gestured to yourself angrily. John stammered, in surprise. Looking glad you had left the knife on the bench with the way you were waving your arms wildly.

“I…” he began, seemingly speechless. “I don’t… have a problem with you?” He said quietly, phrasing it as if it was a question.

“Well then why the fuck are you so fucking rude?” You shouted, curses slipping from your tongue way too easily for someone that was supposed to be a lady.

John’s mouth moved wordlessly as he glanced around him to see who was watching. Thankfully no one had raised their heads at the commotion. He grimaced as he tried to explain. Cutting himself off and starting again before lunging for you suddenly.

You stared at him in shock. His hand was on your arm and he was leading you past the boundaries of camp. You let him pull you along, feet moving autonomously as you decided you were determined to get to the bottom of his dreadful behavior.

He stopped a few meters out of camp, turning to face you and scanning behind you momentarily. He met your eyes briefly before looking away again.

Crossing his arms he let out a huge sigh, frowning at the ground as you cleared your throat to try and jolt him in to action.

“I...” He started, lowering his tone and leaning in slightly. “I like you.” He whispered, still not making eye contact.

You raised your brows in surprise, forcibly stopping yourself from taking a physical step back as he moved closer. You hadn’t been expecting that.

“Well you got a shitty way of showin’ it.” You huffed, crossing your arms.

“I like you.” John repeated, voice quiet and rushed. “But it’s wrong. It’s so fucking wrong.” He said urgently. “If Abigail ever found out...”

“It’s okay...” you assured, cutting him off by placing a hand on his shoulder. You could sense the anxiety in him running ramped. You needed him to know what he was saying was just between the two of you.

He looked scared. Vulnerable. You had never seen him that way before. It was endearing.

“I... I keep tellin’ her it’s nothin’.” He explained. “I keep tellin’ her and she keeps askin’, she don’t believe me. The only way to make her stop is... is to...” he trailed off, finally meeting your shocked expression with his sad eyes. “I’m sorry.” He said sincerely, voice hushed as he looked back at the ground. “I don’t mean to be so terrible.”

You considered him for a moment, lips forming a thin line as you looked him up and down. The wind whistled between you, rustling his hair as the silence between you both continued. He moved to brush dark strands out of his eyes, hand pausing in midair as you grabbed it with yours.

“I like you too…” You admitted, feeling sheepish. You had always found him attractive as much as you hated to admit it. From the second you saw him you knew there was something there. But he was already taken before you came along and when you made friends with Abigail, you knew for certain nothing could ever happen between the two of you. He had been an asshole since you began your friendship anyway. You had no idea he had been faking it.

John’s eyes widened slightly at the admission, cheeks flushing as he pulled his hand away from yours and brushed his hair behind his ear. He kept his eyes averted, staring at the ground in between you as he thought.

“I love Abigail.” He said suddenly, as if he felt he needed to clarify.

You nodded, not really sure where he was going with this. “But I…” he paused, unsure how to say what was on his mind. “I guess I never planned on bein’ married… Not… Not now… anyway.” He stuttered awkwardly, gesturing with his hands as he spoke. “It was the right thing to do you know?” He continued when you didn’t reply. “Marry her ‘cause she was with child. I just… I didn’t… I mean I don’t…” He trailed off, crossing his arms as he looked off in to the distance. “I don’t want to hurt her. I ain’t no cheater.” He said softly, looking back to you sadly.

You nodded in agreement. Neither were you, you didn’t think. You couldn’t stand the thought of hurting Abigail. She had been so kind to you. But the arousal you had felt when he had taken your hand earlier. It was enough to cloud anyone’s judgement.

“Anyway…” John said as a means of moving the conversation along. “Don’t matter what I feel for you or what you feel for me.” He cleared his throat uncomfortably. “We should get back.” He pointed towards camp, making to move and stopping beside you to wait for you to follow him.

You turned as well, walking beside him until you reached the very edge of camp. You started to trail behind, lost in thought before stopping completely beside one of the broken wagons that had been tossed aside for fixing. John stopped ahead when he realized you weren’t following and came back to you, raising his brows in question as you sank down on to one of the empty vegetable crates.

“What’s wrong?” He asked, hovering nervously as he scanned the camp for Abigail’s figure. He wasn’t about to leave you alone looking sad but he wasn’t sure he could take the ridicule if Abigail caught the two of you together.

“It’s just a shame is all.” You said gloomily, petting the seat beside you and watching as he hesitated for a moment before he took it. Careful to leave a respectable amount of space between the two of you.

“What’s a shame?” He asked, thinking maybe he already knew the answer. He jumped slightly as your hand slid on to his thigh. You gave it a quick squeeze, making him shiver.

“All the fun we’ll never get to have.” You smiled to yourself, eyes flicking towards him to catch a glimpse of him licking his lips.

“It’s for the best.” He answered, voice sounding forced, as if he didn’t believe it himself.

“Is it?” You asked, looking to him with half lidded eyes as your brain screamed at you to tone it down. You couldn’t help it, the way his hand slowly slid on top of your own. The way he glanced around nervously before letting it tighten. It ignited a fire in your belly. A hunger awakening like you’d never felt before.

He didn’t answer, knowing anything he said in reply would be a lie. He wanted nothing more than to explore the feelings he couldn’t control.

But Abigail…

You pulled your hand from his grip as you stood, his own hand trailing after you as if to try and pull you back in. You turned to stand in front of him. Far too close to be perceived as platonic if anyone were to be watching. The sides of your knees rubbed against his thighs and he looked up at you with a mixture of guilt and awe as he tried to adjust his erection discreetly.

You smirked, eyes flicking quickly around the camp to make sure no one was watching before leaning down, pressing your hands in to his shoulders and whispering in his ear.

“Maybe just once…”

His hands were under your ass before you had time to register what happened. Your legs wrapped around him instinctively as he lifted you. He pressed you hard against the wood of the wagon, shielding you both from prying eyes as he rested his sweaty forehead against yours. His eyes were screwed shut and he panted heavily. Your lips parted, your breath huffing over his chapped lips.

He pressed his lower body towards you readily. Erection pressing in to your centre and making you gasp.

He was as hard as steel and as hot as fire.

Your hands slowly snaked up his back and in to his hair. Grabbing fistfuls, you pulled on it lightly. His hips bucked in response, face wincing for a split second before evening out once more. You couldn’t tell if he liked it or not.

Pulling again experimentally you heard him whimper softly. Felt his cock pulse against you and realised you had gotten your answer.

You smiled to yourself waiting for him to make his move. Both of you breathing heavily against one another, lips an inch apart for what seemed like years.

Your impatience got the best of you, pushing you to move forwards with intent to kiss him. He turned his head quickly, your lips coming to rest against his scarred cheek.

He averted his eyes, not able to look at you as you pulled back in question.

“I ain’t no cheater.” He muttered, repeating his words from earlier and making you frown.

“Then what are you doing here?” You asked softly, one of the hands in his hair coming down to cup his cheek. You pressed against it, forcing him to face you.

He turned towards you, lust filled eyes locking on to yours as he swallowed thickly.

“I...” he began, not quite sure how to continue. You looked him over once more, taking in every inch of his flushed skin. Feeling his hard member burning in to your mound. You watched him shrug. Swallowing again and pressing his forehead against yours once more.

He sighed heavily, smiling sadly as he closed his eyes. He wanted to enjoy the anticipation for a second longer before it had to end.

You smiled weakly. Understanding better than anyone the predicament he was in. Abigail was your best friend. You didn’t want to hurt her either.

You wrapped your arms around his back, pulling him close in an effort to comfort him. But unable to stop your breath hitching as he pressed in to you a little more.

He huffed excitedly, cock throbbing at the sound. You supressed a moan, biting in to your bottom lip as you rolled your hips experimentally against him. He felt so good.

He whined softly in response, hands shaking under your ass as he fought with what was right and what he desperately wanted in that moment.

Release.

You smiled to yourself, exhaling softly as you whispered against his lips.

“You wanna fuck me?”

You ground yourself against his hardness with what little leverage you had. Your pussy spasming at the feeling.

John gasped, suppressing a moan of his own as his hips joined yours, rocking against you eagerly.

“Yeah?” You replied when he didn’t answer, voice sultry. Taking his movement as a yes.  You pulled his head to the side, whispering directly in his ear this time. “You wanna fuck my pussy until it’s raw?” You asked, crying out softly at the way his hips jolted at the question. He ground against you at a steady pace, breath stuttering at the sensation.

You let your tongue dart out to lick at the shell of his ear. Making him squirm as his thrusts quickened.

You continued your onslaught, voice so soft no one around you would be able to hear.

“You want to hear me moan for you?” You asked, breath hitching on purpose as you moaned softly, a long exaggerated sound that made his entire body tremble.

“John....” you breathed, rolling your hips to match his thrusts. “Oh.... Johnnn.” You groaned against him, feeling the hands under your ass tighten as his rhythm faltered momentarily.

“Ah…” You whispered. “Ah… John…” You gasped, purposefully hitching your inhale in an exaggerated manner. You knew you were driving him wild.

John painted heavily, breathing uneven as groans caught in his throat in an effort to be quiet. He was so hard. So wet. He’d never felt so turned on.

“Fuck…” He murmured as you continued to breath heavily in his ear. Mumbling his name and telling him how good he felt.

“Are you gonna cum for me?” You asked quietly, your hands moving to his waist and holding on tight for better leverage. He choked on a moan, a broken inhale following as he pushed his head passed you and pressed his forehead in to the wood of the wagon. Lips on your shoulder as he rocked his hips against you at a jagged pace.

He was so close. This was so wrong. So naughty. You felt so good against him. His mind wandered to what it would feel like to be inside you. To fuck you proper, not stopping until neither of you could breath.

“You’re fucking me so good John.” You whisper, seemingly following his train of thought as his abs began to clench. “Your cock feels so good inside me.” You gasp, hands tightening on his sides as your press against his every thrust. “Fuck me harder.” You order, making him shake.

“Good God…” He grunted breathily.

“Cum inside me.” You whimper excitedly, nipping at his ear as he cried out louder than he should. His voice a strangled whine as he rutted against you, groaning in ecstasy. You pulled his ass tight against you with your calves, making it hard for him to move as he shook and whined through an intense orgasm.

He whispered your name with a shaking voice. Small keening sounds still leaving him long after the sensation had passed. He continued to rock gently against you. Not wanting it to end.

Not wanting to part.

You chuckled at his enthusiasm, forcefully pushing him away once you started to feel his seed seep through his pants and on to your own.

If he stained your dress there would be no hiding what had transpired when you both emerged from behind the wagon looking thoroughly fucked.

He let you go readily. Allowing you to use his shoulders to hold steady as your unwrapped your legs and dropped them to the ground.

You stood awkwardly for a moment. Still only inches apart and both breathing heavily.

You didn’t finish, but that hardly mattered. He had made an entire bank load of lewd sounds for you to lock away in your vault and use at your leisure alone in your own tent.

You supposed he probably felt the same way about you despite his orgasm.

John looked sheepish, whether embarrassed by the outcome of your transgressions or unsure what to do now you couldn’t tell.

His hand moved slowly to touch your arm as he kept his eyes on your boots. He ran his fingers across it lightly before dropping it back to his side.

“That was... I...” He stammered, trying to find the right words.

“You don’t need to say it.” You said softly, taking a step closer and pressing a hand to his cheek once more. “I understand.” You assured him.

It was clear to the both of you that this could never happen again. It could never go further than what it already had. You both knew deep down that although John claimed to not be a cheater, he had certainly cheated on Abigail this afternoon. He had spilled his seed to the touch of another women.

You wondered absently if it would make a difference to her if she ever found out. The fact that you didn’t actually fuck him. He never even kissed you.

You wondered if it made a difference to John’s conscience. Or if he would still be riddled with guilt for his adultery.

The look on his face gave you his answer as he slowly slunk away from you. Glancing around as he darted from cover to cover, trying to make it to his tent without being seen.

You giggled at the sight, sitting back down on the crate from earlier and lighting a cigarette. You took a long drag from it, exhaling slowly as you lost your self in your thoughts.

~

You warmed your hands by the fire, chuckling to your self at the story Hosea was recounting about a hunt gone wrong. You’d all heard it a million times but the novelty never seemed to wear off as the tale became a little more exaggerated with each retelling. Seemingly forgotten details adding to the fun and filling out the boring parts with simple one-liners that had everyone in stitches.

Abigail’s hearty laugh could be heard from across the fire as Hosea gestured wildly to add to the atmosphere. You looked for her, smiling faintly as she caught your eye before turning back to Hosea. She knew you loved this story.

John was beside her, his arm slung around her shoulders as he laughed along to the anecdote. You stared at him for a moment. Raising your brows in surprise as he turned to look directly at you. You wondered if he had felt your eyes on him as his face fell momentarily. His hand tightened on Abigail’s shoulder and she leaned in to him looking up to place a soft kiss on his stubbled cheek. His eyes snapped away from you locking on to hers before capturing her lips and kissing her softly.

Abigail turned back to the fire and he looked to you apologetically. You shrugged with one shoulder, a small smile letting him know it was okay.

The two of you were never meant to be. But you would always have the memory of what if.

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you guys liked this! If you did please consider letting me know! Comments make my week and keep me motivated! ♥


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